Summertime, Life, Motherhood

I don't know about you all, but this summer has flown by way to fast for me.  I've been so busy. Six out of the eight weeks we've had off I have been watching a friend's child. Having four kids to take care of day after day... Well, I don't know where the time has gone, but my day pretty much goes like this- fix kids food, clean up, put baby down for nap, fix snack for kids, baby wakes up, feed baby, feed kids lunch, put 2 year old down for nap, clean up food, feed baby, put baby down for nap, fix kids snack, clean up......... You feel me???  Yeah, a lot of food, a lot of naps..... throw in a few dirty diapers.... And six weeks later, summer is nearly over.

My baby is two months older than she was at the beginning of summer. She's finally out of her Pavlik harness, you can read more about that here if you don't know her story.  And we are adjusting to life without it.  It was a challenge in the beginning.  She was so used to having her legs strapped in and held still that she didn't know how to sleep without it.  All of the sudden she would move her leg in her sleep and startle herself awake.  She also was very behind in her milestones. At nearly 7 months old she is still unable to sit up on her own.  She didn't begin to roll over until recently, and although she can get up on her knees in a crawling stance, her legs are so used to being out and open that she has a hard time keeping her knees straight under her.  I'm okay with all of this.  She's my last baby and I want to savor these moments when she can't get away from me yet.  When she still depends on me to hold her and carry her around to see things.  This phase isn't going to last forever and I am not ready to have her crawl away from me just yet...

My oldest daughter, Lily Claire, turned 9 this summer. She just got back from a two week trip to Europe with her grandparents. I think she grew 4 inches and became a young lady while she was gone.  She went from playing with American Girl Dolls to strolling along the Champs-Elysses and nibbling pain du chocolate.  I want to hold her closer and beg her not to grow up, but I can see how much she loves the world. Sketching in front of Monet's water lilies, exploring the grounds of Versailles... these things change you. They open your eyes to new possibilities.  I can see the change in her. And I want to hold her tight and beg her not to crawl away from me just yet...

My middle baby, Ella... She starts kindergarten next week.  I see the anxiety and excitement she is filled with. I feel the same way.  She will be going to "big girl school" with her sister. She will have homework, learn math, read books, make new friends.  And be farther away than my arms.  And I want to keep her in a bubble, so she never knows cruel words, so she is never disappointed or scared. I want to keep her home and never let her crawl away...

These changes are so big, so life altering. But when you are making snack after snack, planning your day around nap after nap, you don't realize what's happening until you realize it happened.  Your kids are bigger, smarter, stronger.  And it's because even though you didn't mean to, you let them crawl away.  Because that's your job.  To raise them to be strong enough, brave enough, curious enough to stand on their own.

So as another summer comes to a close, and school supplies line your kitchen counters, and the Costco list once again contains juice boxes, snack packs and sandwich makings, take a second.  Take a moment to see all you did this summer.  Even when it felt like you were a slave to the kitchen, or never going to catch up with the laundry.  You did more important work.  You cared for your people and loved them.  And that is all that matters.